Allergies or Swine Flu? A Story by Sandy Green
Am I patient zero for the state of Georgia? I don’t even know what flu-like symptoms would be…that’s how infrequently I get sick.Maybe you have the kissing disease? I had such when Katie and I went to this hookah bar/Indian dance club inhabited by India Barfield and 18-21 year old girls from India. We were all pimped out to various other lesbians by Katie’s friend (she is, for all intents and purposes, a lezzie pimp). She works well as a lezzie pimp and not someone who you would actually date because she is incredibly skinny. No girl that I know wants to date someone who weighs significantly less than they do. I would be sad that we couldn’t share clothes. The walk of shame would turn from baggy shirts and boxers to really tight IZODs and me with muffin top sprouting over board shorts. Gross.
The point is, I did not kiss her, but I did kiss some other lezzie who I’m certain had some sort of disease (not the STDiseases, but the kind that make you think you have the flu and that you’re going to die).
What does this have to do with you? Not much. The point is, I never get sick until I do something out of the ordinary. Since you’ve moved to a new place you are probably dealing with new kinds of stress (perhaps even good stress). Good stress is like dry heat. You don’t notice it because you don’t sweat. But it can lower your immune system—so drink lots of
waterbeer. Also, since we’ve had a good amount of rain this allergy season, the pollen is worse than it has been in the past few “drought years.”There’s a simple lesson to be learned from all of this. Don’t allow yourself to be pimped by a skinny lesbian in an Indian dance bar that is also filled with hookahs. They are disease ridden. In this turbulent age, all we can do is hope these lesbian whores haven’t made out with pigs.
but….. you did kiss the skinny one
